Focus 52: "Green"

Yes.  I could write a St. Patrick’s Day post for this weeks Focus 52 prompt of “Green”.  That would be relatively easy.  Frankly, I don’t know much about the Irish. I know a lot of their names have an “O” followed by an apostrophe and then some other word.  I know that Irish eyes are sometimes smiling.  I know what “Irish twins” are.  I know what it means to have “the luck of the Irish” and, on the opposite hand,  I know what the “curse of the Irish” is due to some unfortunate dating choices in the 80’s.  I know that Bailey’s Irish Creme is some really good shit to dump into your coffee…or not.  And I know that St. Patty’s day is a day to wear green, run out into the street with a bottle in one hand while simultaneously puking on your friends shoes.  I get all of that. I admit, I don’t know much about St. Patty or why he is so legendary.  Is he a Leprechaun?  Are people always after his Lucky Charms? 

I would like to make a day like that for the Jews.  Like…St. Moses Day.  We can all wear blue and white, the colors of Israel, run around holding up a bottle of Manischevitz and flinging Matzoh at passing cars.  We can go around burning bushes and when the police show up, we can join each other in a merry chant of “Let My People Go.”

I’m not big into cultural and religious celebrations if you haven’t noticed.

So what does “green” mean to me?  It is not envy.  It is not easy being green. In fact, green is the color of my fear.  Green is the color of the worst period of my life.  For me, this is green:

Green is the color of my former addiction.  Those little green bottles that use to house those little white pills that used to ruin my life.  This picture that I took reminded me of how I felt when taking drugs.  Everything was blurry, black and white and then, when the magical green bottle would enter my hand, suddenly, color once more!  And the world would make sense again…at least it did, in my fucked up, addicted mind.

So why would I be thinking of little green pill bottles during a week of green celebration?  Because holidays that glorify drinking and addiction go hand in hand.  I admit, I am scared for my friends this weekend.  They are going out to party pretty hard.  Tonight, the world becomes Irish and everyone joins in the celebration.  People will drink, party, take pills, smoke weed, whatever so they can remember this as “The Best St. Patrick’s Day EVER!!!”

And I will hold my breath until Monday, praying that none of my friends die this weekend.

If you are celebrating this weekend, please…do so in moderation.  Be careful of what you ingest and how much you ingest.  Alcohol poisoning can kill you.  A combination of pills and alcohol can kill you.  If you have to “go green” this weekend, smoke some weed and stay home and giggle at the movie “Leprechaun: 3D” but please, above all…stay safe.

Because I love you.  Because I care.

And because I want to see your smiling Irish eyes for a long time to come.

13 thoughts on “Focus 52: "Green"

  1. Jan @twoscoopz

    Coming home from work yesterday, the patios everywhere were full and people well on their way. That was around 3pm. heh.
    I hope in this day and age, people have enough sense to call a cab.

  2. John B

    Didn’t celebrate St Pat’s this year. Too depressed, afraid I’d bring everyone down.

    I’m coming out of it. But I don’t like that place I was.

  3. CP

    BP – Yep, a lot of the same struggles and days like this that celebrate the “intoxicating” side of life are definitely triggers. I worry about my friends. Some of them party a little TOO hard. But, of course, I can’t say too much because then I sound like the “holier than thou” chick who got sober and in turn, got preachy. LOL I can only offer them the notion of a taxi service if they need me. I’d rent them a hotel room wherever they are so they can sleep it off. Whatever. I just want everyone who was in my life BEFORE this holiday to still be there after this holiday. I lost my best friend Derek shortly before Thanksgiving to an overdose, so I admit, I get a little fearful of the holidays and all the “good cheer” they bring.

    Maureen – Thank you. My daughter is 23 but like me, not much of a drinker. My son is only 15 so we haven’t crossed that threshold yet. However, he is sleeping at a friends house tonight and I asked him to please stay in instead of going roaming around the neighborhood. I get nightmares about some drunk driver plowing into them on the sidewalk. You know, if someone told me that the second biggest emotion to “love” in motherhood would be “fear”, I don’t know that I would have signed up for this gig. NO matter how old they get, we never stop worrying about our babies, huh?

    Jan – I know. It makes me nervous. St. Patty’s seems to be one of those holidays that starts on a Thursday and manages to run for the entire weekend. Those Irish and Irish wannabees sure can party! You would think people would call a cab…but you know, people get their “drunk balls” on and swear they are just fine when they are no where near so.

    John B! How are you friend??? Long time, no hear from! I am so sorry you are having depressive issues right now, but how smart are you to know NOT to do any partying during times like that!? Only makes things worse once you sober up. Good for you for recognizing that and keeping it low key. I missed you, Dude! xoxo Hang strong. This too shall pass.

  4. lucy

    a powerful post! i’ve battled my addition demons over the years, along with almost everyone in my family. i no longer worry about being the non-drinker in the room, but it’s been hard. my kids — 19 and 17 — and their friends have battled their own demons already, and it’s an insidious thing. brave of you to revisit the past and be so honest about it. forget st. paddy’s day — let’s just say happy spring!

  5. Chatty

    We had a teacher’s workday yesterday. My seniors asked me if we did it on purpose. I asked them what they meant. “You know giving us a day off the day after St. Patrick’s Day, so we can party and get wasted.”


    No, don’t think that was the original intent…but it left me stressed out for forty eight hours.

  6. Elaine

    Great post as always CP. I used to hate St. Patrick’s day because that was when my already inebriated (kinda Irish) husband would get even more inebriated…all in the name of St. Patty’s. I would end up going to another celebration or spend a quiet night at a girlfriend’s house, away from what I knew was going to end up with him picking a fight with me, picking a fight with one of his friends, or having to stop him from driving drunk. I’m so grateful that those days are long long gone and now we celebrate with our girls with shamrock shakes and cookies. 🙂

  7. Arlene

    St. Moses day sounds fantastic, especially since who would want to get drunk on Manischevitz? Throwing Matzot at cars and burning bushes seems like a pretty good time to me LOL
    For me the scariest thing about excessive drinking is the driving that follows.

  8. Faiqa

    C’mooon… you guys have LOTS of days! You just had Purim!! 🙂
    On a more serious note, I admire your strength. It’s totally NOT even in the same ballpark, but I quite smoking a while back… and damn, not a day goes by where I don’t wish I could have a cigarette. Just this past Saturday, I was at a St. Pats party and someone said, hey wanna go have a smoke, and I was like, Um no, I quit. And he says, “Well, now is a great time to quit quitting, huh?”
    Cher, it took everything I had to say no. Like I said, so no in the same ballpark, but I *kind of* get it.


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