Category Archives: travel

Damaged Princess

Hey all, just checking in. I ruptured my eardrum and worsened it on the plane ride home. I am on a ton of antibiotics, drops and painkillers. Depending how things are by Thursday, I will have to have surgery on my eardrum. This is not quite the way I hoped my time in NYC would be spent. But leave it to my being with Esther to suddenly burst my eardrum.

Coincidence? I think not.

Leave me a hug, a kiss or some good wishes. I am in a lot of pain and could use the love right now.

Talk soon.

*smooooooches*

What up, DAWGS???

CP coming at you from NYC! Yes, I am a glutton for punishment. Had to go see Esther and the crew. Throw it up, y’all. (Your hands, not your lunch). The hotband is coming in from the big O (Ohio) to meet his baby boo (me). I got me some mean video with the big E-mom on a brand new video cam so the quality will be the shizz!

Don’t be haters. This bitch is getting her shop on at the Miracle Mile today.

Check it. I almost missed my plane yesterday, so I had a choice…jump straight to the gate without checking my luggage or miss my plane. So my baby boy and I decided to come without threads straight to NY. No luggage just gives a bitch a reason to shop! I got me some undies and socks at Walmart, along with some PJ’s. You can get the staples at Walmart but that’s it. Beyond that, you are committing a cardinal sin.

I am going to see muh babies…my niece and my nephews so this should be a good trip. I’ll be back on Monday night, unless something so funny happens that I feel the need to jump back in and post about it!

Ciao, Bellas! *smoooooooooches*

Okay…first of all?

FINALLY!!!

Took four freakin’ days but I finally got some hotel sex. Geez. What’s a bitch gotta do? It got interrupted by his job about six or seven times, which was okay because it only prolonged matters. By the eighth call, I hopped offa him and closed up shop. Done. I cannot perform like the sex goddess I am with him talking to men on the other line. In college, that would have gotten me off. I am over that phase of my life.

Moving right along…

Have you seen the movie “Across the Universe”? If you haven’t, you must. Go now. Don’t even finish reading this post until you have done so. Get your shit and go.

I’ll wait.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 2 hours later…

Wasn’t it phenomenal? Did you not LOVE it? The only way you couldn’t love this movie is if you have NO feelings whatsoever and are bone dry when it comes to human connection. For example, Avitable will hate this film. Unless he’s a Beatles fan…that might save it for him. Plus, PLUS…Salma Hayek does a cameo as a “naughty singing nurse” during one scene. Nothing is hotter than Salma Hayek in a nurse’s dress, cap and stripper heels, okay? Nothing. (Hm. Coincidence that I got laid after seeing that movie. Must. Ask. Hotband.)

Lastly, am I the only one who knows the etiquette for elevators? You let people off first, before you get on. It’s very simple. Why. Why do people get onto elevators when they see you are trying to get off of one? How the fuck can I get out if you are taking your three hundred pound behemoth body onto the frickin frackin elevator, shoving my fat ass into a corner as I gasp for air trying to squeeze past you? This is not an olympic sport, people. This is on and off an elevator for fucks sake. Three times this weekend, I had to tell off various people from the greater Chicago area due to their unparalleled RUDENESS. Shit fuck. They say we New Yorkers are rude and over-bearing? No. No no no. You fuckers in Chicago corner the market on that. Trust a bitch.

I am back in Florida now, land of the giant cockeroach and the God forsaken lightning storm. I could never say I was happy to be here, but I am happy to be here. I have jet lag. I got my period. My nails need to be done. The humidity has attacked my hair and it looks like I was just in a wrestling match. Nappy and fro-like. Fine for some, not too hot on a fine haired, pin straight jew girl. I look like Elaine from Seinfeld and this is NOT a good look for me.

Anyway, if you can come up with some explanation for the elevator phenomenon, I would appreciate it. I think the world should know about the on/off rule…but what the fuck do I know.

Chi-town

So, I mentioned that I would be going to Chicago to meet with my hubby for a full week of hotel sex.

I was wrong.

Not about going to Chicago. I’m here. The weather is amazing. My husband took me to Bob Chinn’s Crab House. Two hundred dollar dinner. Yes. My hubby treats me like the Princess that we all know I am.

However, the closest I have come to having sex…is oral. With my toothbrush.

He works 16 hour days up here. Until 5pm in the office, then another 6 or 7 hours when he gets back to the room. The only time I have seen this man naked is when he is getting dressed or undressed to or from work.

I am spending my days locked in this hotel room. Room service and I have gotten to be close friends. The room is beautiful, don’t get me wrong…but being caged up in it. Well, it feels like Paris Hilton’s prison sentence. At least if I was getting laid at night, it would compensate for all the down time during the day.

But I’m not getting much of anything, except daytime television. Something has to give…and it better be my husband…soon!

My toothbrush is getting worn out.

The Joy of Unemployment…

Jobless means, never having to stay home. Hooray.

Because I have no where I need to be, I am spending the week in Chicago with the Hotband! Sure, I’ll have nothing to do all day while he is working but sit in the Hilton and pamper myself with room service and the jacuzzi tub. But hey, the way I figure it, just to be there when he gets out of work is worth it to me.

Besides, everyone knows hotel sex rocks.

The good news for all you happy, shiny little people is that I will now have the chance to blog on a daily basis for the next week. Doesn’t that just moisten the panties???

See you! I’m on a plane in less than 12 hours! Peace out!