Category Archives: DUI

Focus 52: "Green"

Yes.  I could write a St. Patrick’s Day post for this weeks Focus 52 prompt of “Green”.  That would be relatively easy.  Frankly, I don’t know much about the Irish. I know a lot of their names have an “O” followed by an apostrophe and then some other word.  I know that Irish eyes are sometimes smiling.  I know what “Irish twins” are.  I know what it means to have “the luck of the Irish” and, on the opposite hand,  I know what the “curse of the Irish” is due to some unfortunate dating choices in the 80’s.  I know that Bailey’s Irish Creme is some really good shit to dump into your coffee…or not.  And I know that St. Patty’s day is a day to wear green, run out into the street with a bottle in one hand while simultaneously puking on your friends shoes.  I get all of that. I admit, I don’t know much about St. Patty or why he is so legendary.  Is he a Leprechaun?  Are people always after his Lucky Charms? 

I would like to make a day like that for the Jews.  Like…St. Moses Day.  We can all wear blue and white, the colors of Israel, run around holding up a bottle of Manischevitz and flinging Matzoh at passing cars.  We can go around burning bushes and when the police show up, we can join each other in a merry chant of “Let My People Go.”

I’m not big into cultural and religious celebrations if you haven’t noticed.

So what does “green” mean to me?  It is not envy.  It is not easy being green. In fact, green is the color of my fear.  Green is the color of the worst period of my life.  For me, this is green:

Green is the color of my former addiction.  Those little green bottles that use to house those little white pills that used to ruin my life.  This picture that I took reminded me of how I felt when taking drugs.  Everything was blurry, black and white and then, when the magical green bottle would enter my hand, suddenly, color once more!  And the world would make sense again…at least it did, in my fucked up, addicted mind.

So why would I be thinking of little green pill bottles during a week of green celebration?  Because holidays that glorify drinking and addiction go hand in hand.  I admit, I am scared for my friends this weekend.  They are going out to party pretty hard.  Tonight, the world becomes Irish and everyone joins in the celebration.  People will drink, party, take pills, smoke weed, whatever so they can remember this as “The Best St. Patrick’s Day EVER!!!”

And I will hold my breath until Monday, praying that none of my friends die this weekend.

If you are celebrating this weekend, please…do so in moderation.  Be careful of what you ingest and how much you ingest.  Alcohol poisoning can kill you.  A combination of pills and alcohol can kill you.  If you have to “go green” this weekend, smoke some weed and stay home and giggle at the movie “Leprechaun: 3D” but please, above all…stay safe.

Because I love you.  Because I care.

And because I want to see your smiling Irish eyes for a long time to come.

I am a Democrat…

tried and true. I have always supported the Democratic Party since the time I could first vote, going back to the Reagan era. I have never wavered. Since that time, however, I have found that I am getting a bit more conservative. I used to denote myself as a “liberal”. But now, I don’t know. As I am getting older, I don’t believe in the “live and let live” theory so much any more. What am I floundering on all of a sudden?

The death penalty.

I used to be dead set against it…even in the most heinous of cases. After all, taking one life for taking another somehow doesn’t even the score. I truly believed that, once upon a time, most criminals could be rehabilitated. I believed that more money should have went toward the rehabilitation of these criminals and possibly turn them into productive members of society.

Yet now, I have to admit…my feelings have changed.

I find myself adamently in favor of the death penalty. Not sure where that puts me as a liberal any longer. I suppose the label no longer fits. At least, not as snugly as it used to. I watch all these cases about murder and rape and I find myself wanting these animals put to death. Increasingly, I am adhering to the principles of an eye for an eye. For example, you rape? You get raped. You sodomize? You get sodomized. And, of course, if you commit murder…you die. Plain and simple.

Naturally, the nurse in me wants at very least 99% DNA proof of this before you are mandated to die. There has to be guilt beyond a shadow of a doubt, not reasonable doubt. That’s simply not enough for me.

I have to admit that I feel badly for feeling this way. Maybe it is ever since becoming a grandmother. I don’t want my grandchild brought up in a society full of animals who, with one good defense lawyer, will be released back onto the streets.

A long time ago, I believed that Roman Polanski should be left alone from his crime. The victim had since forgiven him for his transgression some 40 years earlier and there was a monetary settlement reached. Let’s leave it alone. However, now I feel that he has been parading around all through Europe without a care in the world. Frankly, the man is a fugitive and needs to be treated as such. I have watched his Hollywood cohorts hail him as a hero of the film industry. While that may be true, it is also true that he plied a 13 year old girl full of alcohol and quaaludes. He fled the country before ever serving his sentence. I can’t help but wonder if it were Joe Schmoe from Buttfuck, Idaho, would we be satisfied with time served?

As I age, I no longer feel this is justice.

What scares me so much is that I feel like I am losing grip of my liberal self. I want people to be able to live freely with all their rights afforded to them, but at the same time, I think we are giving too much leeway to hardened criminals. It strikes me as odd that people commit DUI manslaughter and receive 3 years in prison.

What really has me a little bitter are the people in my intensive outpatient therapy group. Some of them have committed multiple DUI’s and are relegated to 12 weeks of outpatient therapy. 12 weeks for the potential of having killed themselves or more importantly, someone else. Something just doesn’t feel right about that. I can’t help being a little angry at those members of the group. You can tell which ones are truly remorseful and which ones are just rolling with the punches and jumping through the proverbial legal hoops. It’s frustrating. I want to shake each one of them and tell them that if they are to ever hurt my daughter, son or grandchild, that I will personally kill them myself.

So, I am questioning my commitment toward liberalism now more than ever. And quite frankly, it really has me bothered.