Category Archives: Cymbalta

Okay. Enough of the depressive bullshit.

I am reading my own blog and discovering something about myself.

I have been, for the past two months, pretty fucking boring.

What the hell? Read my archives! I am so NOT boring, so what the hell is going on with me.

I have a few theories:

1) My husband is now working in California. This means I am not getting laid NEARLY as much as I used to. Since most of the stories in my archives revolves around the interesting things we did (read:stupid) sexually, I find myself with very little to say. As a matter of fact, my orgasms have been pretty mediocre as of late. Who do I speak to to rectify this situation?

2) My son has swine flu. It’s hard to be witty when your son has a potentially life threatening pig virus. He thinks it’s hysterical and refers to himself as a “Swiner”. He has been yelling it out in school as well, making his teacher think that Tourette’s is a side effect of swine flu. My child is one genetic marker away from retarded* as it is. He gets it from me.

(*Yes…I realize that this is politcally incorrect. I care not. Move on.)

3) Did I mention that I am not getting laid near enough?

4) Avitable’s Halloween party is coming up this weekend. Anything else will therefore pale in comparison. Basically, you have two things to look forward to this time of year. The first is anticipation of his party. And the second is the subsequent depression you will go through when it is over. The depression lasts about a full year until the next party. I am stockpiling Cymbalta for the aftermath.

5) I have come to the conclusion that I have gotten fat. Not voluptuous. Not “curvy” or all the other cute things I always referred to myself as. No. This is downright fucking fat. I always said if the day ever came that my stomach stuck out further than my tits, it would be time to diet. Guess what, Fuckers? Yeah. No time like the present.

6) Dieting depresses me. Depression makes for shitty blog posts. In order to serve you better, I shall refrain from dieting. I will take one for the team. I will get fat in order to preserve the sanctity and harmony of this blog. I will be 300 pounds…but you will be amused and frankly, that’s all that matters.

7) Yeah. I really need more sex. More sex=less dieting=happier blogposts. So, in essence, my entire blog existance rests firmly on my husbands penis. That’s a heavy burden to bear. Hope he’s up for the challenge.

No inspiration…

Lately, I haven’t been very inspired.

Not just with blogging, because that has always been fairly easy for me to do, even when I am not particularly writing about anything. I just feel “blah”. There is nothing to do with life right now. I am home everyday, which I hate. My husband is home too, and while I don’t hate that…it gets to be a little monotonous. There is the good morning kiss. Then he works from home all day. While I get to physically “see” him, we don’t get to hang out together. I miss that. Soon he leaves for California, the sight of his next contract. I don’t know if that is a good thing or not. Maybe it will inspire me to get up and find a job. Right now, I don’t feel like working. I don’t feel like doing much of anything other than eating and sleeping.

I have to admit, I’m not very happy with life right about now.

There are things going on, certainly. There are always things going on in this house…but nothing I have paid much attention to. I haven’t been taking my anti-depressants the way I should. Okay, not at all. I really should be taking them. Maybe my moods will get better. I just have been shying away from them because I feel like they “dull” my personality. Then again, I’ve been pretty blah as of late…so I guess it wouldn’t matter much.

The highlight of the month was my high school reunion. Since then, it’s all been pretty well downhill from there. I just wish that something would suddenly make me burst out of bed and say YEE HAW…now THIS is worth leaving my bed for. But there’s nothing right now.

Even typing this is boring the shit out of me. I can only imagine what someone reading it would think.

So, with that in mind, I am going to go back to bed. Hopefully something will pull me out of my self-imposed little prison in the next couple of weeks. Maybe I will join my husband in California for a week or so. That might do it.

Then again…they have a big hotel bed there too.

In the interim, I find myself playing this song over and over and over because it makes me happy. Fuck everyone that hates Michael Jackson. I don’t care who you are…you can’t listen to this song without bopping your head a little. And I need a good bopping right about now: