Yes. I could write a St. Patrick’s Day post for this weeks Focus 52 prompt of “Green”. That would be relatively easy. Frankly, I don’t know much about the Irish. I know a lot of their names have an “O” followed by an apostrophe and then some other word. I know that Irish eyes are sometimes smiling. I know what “Irish twins” are. I know what it means to have “the luck of the Irish” and, on the opposite hand, I know what the “curse of the Irish” is due to some unfortunate dating choices in the 80’s. I know that Bailey’s Irish Creme is some really good shit to dump into your coffee…or not. And I know that St. Patty’s day is a day to wear green, run out into the street with a bottle in one hand while simultaneously puking on your friends shoes. I get all of that. I admit, I don’t know much about St. Patty or why he is so legendary. Is he a Leprechaun? Are people always after his Lucky Charms?
I would like to make a day like that for the Jews. Like…St. Moses Day. We can all wear blue and white, the colors of Israel, run around holding up a bottle of Manischevitz and flinging Matzoh at passing cars. We can go around burning bushes and when the police show up, we can join each other in a merry chant of “Let My People Go.”
I’m not big into cultural and religious celebrations if you haven’t noticed.
So what does “green” mean to me? It is not envy. It is not easy being green. In fact, green is the color of my fear. Green is the color of the worst period of my life. For me, this is green:
Green is the color of my former addiction. Those little green bottles that use to house those little white pills that used to ruin my life. This picture that I took reminded me of how I felt when taking drugs. Everything was blurry, black and white and then, when the magical green bottle would enter my hand, suddenly, color once more! And the world would make sense again…at least it did, in my fucked up, addicted mind.
So why would I be thinking of little green pill bottles during a week of green celebration? Because holidays that glorify drinking and addiction go hand in hand. I admit, I am scared for my friends this weekend. They are going out to party pretty hard. Tonight, the world becomes Irish and everyone joins in the celebration. People will drink, party, take pills, smoke weed, whatever so they can remember this as “The Best St. Patrick’s Day EVER!!!”
And I will hold my breath until Monday, praying that none of my friends die this weekend.
If you are celebrating this weekend, please…do so in moderation. Be careful of what you ingest and how much you ingest. Alcohol poisoning can kill you. A combination of pills and alcohol can kill you. If you have to “go green” this weekend, smoke some weed and stay home and giggle at the movie “Leprechaun: 3D” but please, above all…stay safe.
Because I love you. Because I care.
And because I want to see your smiling Irish eyes for a long time to come.