I saw a few people doing this meme. I don’t usually jump in the meme thing, but I thought this one would provoke me to start blogging again a bit more consistently. I have a beautiful new template layout all ready to go and still haven’t hung it up here yet because I haven’t been blogging very much. But, I figured this might be a good foray into getting that jump start that I need. So, 30 days of truth…one post a day, 30 days worth. I was going to start it a few days ago, but my crazy OCD won’t allow for me to start on a random numbered day. I waited for October 1st. The meme includes the following questions:
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.
So here we go. Something I hate about myself. This is pretty easy. The thing I hate most about myself is probably one of the things I also like about myself if that makes any sense. The thing I hate the most is my “I don’t give a shit what other people think of me” attitude. This attitude has it’s good points. For example, it allows me to speak freely at any time, any place in any situation. However, it has also gotten me into a fair amount of trouble with people that I do care about. And, it is because I care about certain people that I really should care what they think of me. Sometimes, I am not very tactful. I have been working on this for the past few months. I am trying to put the ol’ brain in gear before letting the mouth (or, in this case, fingertips) go into overdrive. I find that people who say they don’t give a shit about what other people think use it more as a defense mechanism for bad behavior. That’s the truth of it. When someone removes me from due to something that I have a strong opinion about, I tend to say “Fuck it. I don’t give a shit.” But, sometimes, I do. And it bothers me. Then I start to dwell on it. Eventually, it starts to eat at me a little bit. Usually not enough for me to apologize for my actions even when I feel that an apology may be justified. I never usually intend to hurt people. It doesn’t start out that way, but 9 times out of 10, it ends up that way. I know I have hurt a few people I used to be good friends with because I also can be judgmental and I have a passion for getting caught up in drama. Again, I am working on both of those things. It’s hard to undo something you have done for 44 years of your life overnight. However, the last time I did something that was pretty rotten, I did apologize to the parties involved. Not because I cared so much what they thought about me, but more because I care what “I” think of me. And, that particular situation made me feel bad about myself. Do I regret the things I say? Sure, sometimes. Then again, sometimes, I feel they are things that need to be said and I am unapologetic about it. There needs to be a happy medium there. You can say the things that need to be said…only, I think it’s best to say it to someone directly as opposed to passively saying things to others, hoping that the intended target “accidentally” gets wind of it. I’m normally not a passive/aggressive person so I really want to kind of edge that out of my life. I have always been the kind of person to say something to someone’s face (or Facebook, if you will). This “I don’t care” attitude has not served me well in the past and I don’t foresee that this will change for me in the future. I am working on improving myself just a little, every day. But, you know, Rome wasn’t built in a fucking day. Neither was I. I’m not quite where I want to be just yet, but I know I am heading in a better direction.
But yeah, I don’t like that part of me very much. I would rather use my powers for good than evil. One day at a time, I suppose.
It’s really all any of us can do.
Now, all that happy horseshit aside, Ladies…this month is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. It is time once more to pay attention to your fun bags, your sweater cows, your tata’s, your boobies or whatever the hell you call them. Along with the 30 days of truth, I will be talking about taking care of the tits of doom, how to give a self breast exam, what you need to look for/feel for and how you can invite your partner to help you! So, make sure to put on your PINK all month long in support of the titty brigade.
If you have the chance, stop by FeelYourBoobies.com to sign up and join the awareness group. You can send reminders to all your female friends and relatives about the importance of breast exams. Let’s help keep the boobies bouncing along healthfully and happily!