Hold that Tiger…

Lots in the news lately about Tiger Woods and his *cough* alleged infidelity with several mistresses. He is calling them “indiscretions”. I call that a fancy word for “FUCKING CHEATER”. Certainly, Tiger is not the first celebrity to have gotten caught with his pants around his ankles, and sadly, he won’t be the last. However, the world seems to have taken this one a little hard. Apparently, Tiger was the poster boy of what a good man should be. Young, handsome, successful, family-oriented and devoted to his wife of five years, Elin.

But, if we heed the whispers of the women he has screwed, he was unhappily married and naturally, his poor wife just didn’t understand him. This of course is the typical excuse used by married men to justify their cheating. We wives just don’t seem to understand our husbands whenever hot twenty somethings are around our husbands.

Why would that be?

I spend a lot of time reading the news over at the Huffington Post. According to the many men at that website, women who are married to celebrities or world class athletes should understand that cheating is part of the territory. They should simply accept that sort of behavior because it is part of the social norm for that class of creature.

My thought is this. If you don’t think you can remain faithful…

Don’t. Get. Married.

It’s really that simple. Marriage, no matter how archaic the institution may seem to some, is a promise of fidelity. You are pledging yourself unto the person you love, for better or for worse. And it seems to me that if you are truly in love with someone, you couldn’t possibly bring yourself to cheat on them.

Case in point? Me. I am a serial infidel. I can think of only two men in my life that I never cheated on. One was largely due to fear of repercussion. The other is the hotband. 10 years faithful (with him) is my record. I honestly feel like I couldn’t bring myself to be unfaithful with him. It’s not in my physical or emotional make up to do so. I am so insanely in love with this man that the thought of being with anyone else is honestly nothing less than repulsive.

I truly believe that any other penis near my body would cause me to vomit. Hard.

This is not to say that you aren’t entitled to fantasize or shop the menu. You’re married, not dead. But, when it comes to actually doing the deed? Nope. Couldn’t do it. This man means everything to me. I respect him far too much as a human being to ever malign him in that fashion. I also understand that if it ever got to the point where I did feel I could cheat on him, I would do him the service of splitting up with him first. It would be the only fair thing to do for someone that you respect as a person first and foremost.

So, while I wish Tiger well in his attempt to reconcile his marriage, I don’t hold any high hopes up for him and his wife. They say people can overcome infidelity in their marriage. I wouldn’t know, but to me, it seems that this would be nearly impossible. All trust would be shot to shit. Trust is the foundation of any marriage. It has to be there, or it would simply cease to exist. It would take a lot more than a “Kobe Bryant special” on my ring finger to get me past something like that.

Although, with some persuasion, I might be able to be bought with a five bedroom house on the ocean…maybe.

12 thoughts on “Hold that Tiger…

  1. Avitable

    Maybe there are people who don’t know if they would cheat until well after they get married?

    Tiger could have been a serial monogamist his whole life!

    Reply
  2. Jack C. Young

    I couldn’t agree more! Susan and I have been married for 30 yearts and are looking forward to as many more as we can forge together.
    We’re supposed to enter a marriage with our eyes open–aware of the responsibilities and the consequences. If a man follows his penis instead of his head (and heart) he will get what’s coming to him.
    Excellent call, C.P.

    Reply
  3. Yo Momma

    Omg that is exactly what I was saying to someone the other day when they tried to pull the whole, well he’s famous and he gets ass thrown at him everyday. Okay dude, then don’t get married and for chrissakes don’t have children! Look at George Clooney, very honest about his commitment issues, every girl he dates knows what page he’s on and everyone is happier for it, no one gets hurt.

    Reply
  4. bellaventa

    This is exactly how I feel about Marriage, and is why while I bitch and moan about being single and getting no sex (hee), I am willing to wait until I find the person who makes me feel the way you feel about Hotband.

    Reply
  5. Deb

    Well, a “Tiger” usually doesn’t change his stripes and of course, referred to as a “cheetahhhhhh”… (OK old jokes right?)

    Unless the married couple has an agreement of being polyamorous, fine. None of our business, however, like you said, I would be soooooooooo depressed if I ever cheated on Madelene. We separated for a couple of years as you know… That. was. the WORST time. of. my. life. No one compared to her and never will, which is why I married her.

    After all these years, it’s so wonderful that you are insanely in love with hotband! Please send him kisses from us and a HUGE kiss from me and Mad for YOU! xoxoxo

    We miss you!!!

    Reply
  6. Don Meaker

    The problem is, in his rarified circles, if you don’t get married people think you are homosexual. What ever you think homosexual rights should be, we can agree that for a sports/golf figure that taint would be marketing poison.

    Reply
  7. Don Meaker

    Genetically, it is estimated that 80% of women cheat. Mens testes are the corresponding proportion of body weight, that is between that of totally promiscuous chimpanzees and totally monogamous gibbons. Women would like a man to be monogamous, but tend to be more upset with their partner spending money on other women than spending time.

    Reply

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