Therapy went well…

I didn’t lose my mind while relaying my story.

I told the Cliff Note version. It was succinct and to the point. I got out what I needed to in order to open the proverbial door to help. I reached out. We spent the hour and a half just allowing me to talk while he listened.

He told me that I was battering the “little girl” inside me…by refusing to acknowledge her pain. Told me that I was hurting her no different than Tony hurt “her”. Only until I acknowledge her existance and pain will I begin to heal.

I am going to undergo a process called “EMDR” which has been found to be very helpful in extracting feelings in those who have suffered Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

A Brief Description of EMDR

To me, it seems kind of hokey, almost like hypnosis, but I am willing to give it a shot. Whatever it takes at this time, I promised myself to stay open to it.

We’ll see how it goes.

7 thoughts on “Therapy went well…

  1. hamish

    Okay, so, sounds like you are somewhat sensible to me, given what you have said about your experience.

    I have had tons of uglieness in my life, but have delt with it in other “coping” ways. Maybe not the best, but I am 66, mostly happy, still working (contract after 40+ years as a regular admin at a major Can. university) and very happy that I am still welcome there. How good is that?

    Hang tough, though Princess, you have done it so far. Might as well go all the way>

    Robin & Stacey’s mom

  2. CP

    working on it, Hamish. One day at a time. Best anyone can do. Sounds like you are pretty well put together at this point in your life and happy with the results. When I get to 66 I hope to look back on 43 and wonder what the hell I was so worried about.


  3. kapgaf

    Got here through blog hopping via justsomethoughts and, because I read October 9th’s post, I read parts 1 through 5. Shattering. Lucid. Awe-inspring. And then I read some more of your recent posts, particularly September 29th. I knew nothing about you an hour ago but there are quite a few things on your list that I feel too and yet my life has been nowhere near as fraught as yours so perhaps you’re a little hard on yourself with regard to what is “normal” – or it could just be that I’m a total lunatic!

    Presumptuous blog reader that I am, I offer you encouragement for any therapy that you undertake, sympathy for what you have endured and my admiration for how you have dealt with it.

  4. Nikki

    I’m proud of you,,you can do this. I’ve been down this road before as well.

    I made myself read your 5 posts,,and although I had a few “flashback” moments. It was worth it.

    I still have days, where I swear to god I look up at work,,and swear that I see my abusive ex walking thru the door at work,,and have to take some time and talk me thru the panic attack, and to remind myself he’s far,far away,,and that i’m ok.

    One day at a time my friend!

  5. jalishouse

    CP, you are one of the most honest (thus honorable) and strongest people I’ve ever known.

    I’m glad that you’re open to try new therapy and that “one day at a time” is a good way to live.

    I love you CP – my Queens homegirl!


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