i think i may have tourettes!

I have a very foul mouth. Don’t know where I got it or when I got it, but somehow, I cannot control the things I say. This is most prevalant on facebook. I tend to say things in peoples threads that are simply vulgar and tasteless. Then, I get other people on that same list saying “Oh CP, you are so disgusting!” I can’t apologize for it because I have been like that since birth.

My father (my biological one) was named Stephen. When Stephen and Esther were married, all they did was fight…ALL the time. They would hurl the worst kinds of profanity at each other. So one day, when I was two years old, my mother was selling my crib. A couple came over to buy the crib. Their names were Steven and Ruth. My mother said “CP? This is Ruth and Steven. They are here to buy your old crib!” First words out of my mouth?

“Fuck you, Steven.”

No hesitation. Just blurted it out, much to the chagrin of my parents. What the hell do they expect from me? You’re going to scream fuck you at each other all day long and don’t expect your child to pick it up? Bitch, Please!

Now, I say filthy things on Facebook. I have started talking to people I don’t even know just to say nasty things to them. There is a friend of a friend on Facebook that I find myself saying really filthy things to because I know he gets frustrated and embarassed. I can’t help it. The more people tell me to stop, the more I insist on doing it.

I like to tell people to suck my tits all the time. Even if I don’t really want them to, I still need to say it to them.

My high school reunion is next weekend, and I know I am going to find myself saying that to people I went to school with. It’s my answer for everything.

Hey CP? How are you?

Suck my tits.

Hey CP? What are you up to?

Nothing much. Suck my tits.

Hey CP? Anything going on?

Yeah, you. Sucking my tits.

See? It can’t be helped. And I have tried to stop it, but it simply doesn’t work. Could it be that I have a mild form of Tourtette’s? I don’t know. For those of you who don’t know what Tourette’s is, allow me to school you:

Tourette syndrome (also called Tourette’s syndrome, Tourette’s disorder, Gilles de la Tourette syndrome, GTS or, more commonly, simply Tourette’s or TS) is an inherited neuropsychiatric disorder with onset in childhood, characterized by the presence of multiple physical (motor) tics and at least one vocal (phonic) tic; these tics characteristically wax and wane. Tourette’s is defined as part of a spectrum of tic disorders, which includes transient and chronic tics.

Tourette’s was once considered a rare and bizarre syndrome, most often associated with the exclamation of obscene words or socially inappropriate and derogatory remarks (coprolalia). However, this symptom is present in only a small minority of people with Tourette’s.[1] Tourette’s is no longer considered a rare condition, but it may not always be correctly identified because most cases are classified as mild. Between 1 and 10 children per 1,000 have Tourette’s;[2] as many as 10 per 1,000 people may have tic disorders,[3][4] with the more common tics of eye blinking, coughing, throat clearing, sniffing, and facial movements. People with Tourette’s have normal life expectancy and intelligence. The severity of the tics decreases for most children as they pass through adolescence, and extreme Tourette’s in adulthood is a rarity. Notable individuals with Tourette’s are found in all walks of life


And don’t send me any hatemail saying “You know CP, that’s not funny. My _________ has Tourette’s and you shouldn’t make fun of it?

Oh yeah? Suck my tits.

6 thoughts on “i think i may have tourettes!

  1. Bluepaintred

    I say variations of “Suck my cock” or “suck my sweaty ballsack” Constantly.

    And I only do it to people who get upset by it. Unless it just slips out. Generally I like to use it on my dad, or my husband, or people I’ve just met.

  2. Yo Momma

    This is why I love you though. I love people with verbal diarrhea like me. 🙂 Hell while you’re at the reunion, bring it up a notch and tell them to suck your dick too. hahaha!

  3. Anna

    I just had to de-friend someone on facebook because of her use of foul language and her crude descriptions of her sex life.

    I’m not a prude by anyone’s standards and that kind of discussion is not a problem if one is clicking onto someone’s site with the intention of reading what they write…. not so great if their missives appear on your page for your parents and kids to see.

    Maybe this is food for thought; then again, maybe I’ll just suck your tits ;P


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