Ta DAHHHHHHHH!!! I’m back, bitches!

Did anyone notice I was gone? No? Fuck you then. First off let me tell y’all something. Hiatus from blogging is like jonsing for nicotine. So many times I walked to this computer and said, “screw this hiatus stuff, I need to blog”. Truth of the matter is, I needed some time away from the keyboard. Sometimes you are at a loss for the right words to say. When the Princess goes silent, there is something genuinely wrong with the world.

And make no mistake, my world has been fucked as of late.

First of all, I spent most of the summer with Esther. Yeah. Nuff said about that, right? And I have stories, babies. Oy, the stories I will regale you with will be simply fabulous. You can’t spend that much time with the Tsunami named Esther without having some backlash to discuss.

Next, I survived Hurricane Fay. Nasty little bitch this one was…came straight through Tampa and dumped a shitload of rain and wind on us. Thank you to the few who emailed me (all six of you bee yoo tee full peeps) to check on my status. The Princess lives to write another day while Fay slinks off into a corner to jerk herself off in peace. Shes gone. I’m not.

Ha.

Lastly, my 42nd birthday is coming up this Saturday and I wanted to make sure that y’all had enough notice to buy me some shit. Seriously. I want gifts. Lots of them…or at least send a bitch a card, you know? Show some damn love.

I have to give a shout out to Pajama Chick who made me a beautiful embroidery of the word “Princess” with a crown and everything! It is too beautiful and I am making it into a pillow to rest my pretty head on.

My daughters pregnancy is progressing well. She looks like a fucking meatball, she’s all round and shit. It’s cute. I put up the crib and got some faboo bedding for it (pictures to follow in a later post). She also did that 3D imaging of the baby while in the womb and I am TELLING you, this child looks just like my daughter! These things are so freaky! You can really see the baby!

I am going to be holding a “baby naming” contest this week…so break out your baby books and come up with some really sweet baby girl names. The winner will get to spend an hour on the phone with me. Nah. Not really. But there will be a cool prize involved I assure you of that, bitches.

The hotband is great. He has been home waiting on me hand and foot the entire summer. I Lurve when he is home cause everyday is my fucking birthday. He is as sexy as ever. He still moistens my panties. ‘Nuff said there too. Thanks for inquiring!

My son, the little rock star joined the school band. He is blowing into a clarinet and playing the guitar. His voice has changed. He sounds like a little man now, even made it a point of showing me the hair he is getting under his little armpits. Hello??? Can I stand another child going through puberty?? I don’t think so.

My official bra size as of now is 44F. Yes, they grew again and I felt the need to update everyone on this earth-shattering news.

So that was my summer. It is now back to school time so it was time for me to come out of quasi retirement. Tell me about your summer in the comments. Any good gossip that I missed? Hm??? You simply must dish. I need to get back in the loop.

Love ya, babies! I MISSED YOU GUYS!!! *blowing kisses…and everything else y’all want blown!*

37 thoughts on “Ta DAHHHHHHHH!!! I’m back, bitches!

  1. CP

    ‘thanks captain! Good to be back among the little people who have made me what I am today!

    God, does anyone love themselves as much as i do??

    Reply
  2. saintseester

    Summer… summer… what happened this summer… Oh yeah. I quit my professoring job, and told the dean exactly why and how everything that was an issue was something I addressed with him over and over for the past 5 years. Then, the dean demoted my department chair and said it was the chair’s fault I left.

    My summer got a lot better though. The kids went back to school and I don’t have a new job yet. So, I, uh, am relaxing?

    Reply
  3. ginviren

    Hi CP – Glad to hear you are doing ok. My summer? I moved to be closer to work…but that means I had to move out of my boyfriend’s apartment. It’s been an adjustment with the long distance thing (only 45 miles, but still).

    Other than that, not much…it’s just been hella hot here. I walk outside and immediately I’m sweating.

    I will be at my sister’s wedding dress shopping next week (for her, not me), so happy early birthday!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  4. Mattie

    I truly did not know you were anywhere near Fay! My sister lives in N. Ft. Myers the storm kissed them and moved on to dump 25 inches of rain at her daughter’s house in Melbourne Beach!

    I sincerely missed your posting. I honestly wondered about how you were doing all summer (practically) with Esther.

    Wow … I can’t believe it’s your birthday already. I think I started reading your blog just about this same time last year.

    Glad you’re back. Looking forward to some Estherisms and pics of your daughter’s ultrasound. Will she let you post it?

    Glad to have you back.

    Reply
  5. CP

    Saint – Good for you, babe. I know that job was getting to be too much for ya! Congrats on the sweet freedom, baby!!

    Gin – Thanks for emailing to check up on me. Sorry I didn’t reply sooner…it’s been crazy with getting back to school and all that. Sorry you had to move out of the boyfriend’s place…that sucks.

    Mattie – Yeah, I will post the pics of the sonogram as soon as my MOTHER lets them out of her custody…bitch took ALL the pics and left me with none. Like you think sHe is the grandmother or something. Hmph! Glad you missed me. Good to know someone did…*sniffle* I promise to be back in full game!

    CP

    Reply
  6. Summer

    A busy summer. My son passed his licensing test for RN and we moved him to NYC where he has a job at NY Presbyterian Columbia in a caridac wing. We just moved the youngest to college so we are empty nesters! It was summer all about the kids now hubby and I can relax. Glad to see your triumphant return!

    Reply
  7. sybil law

    Welcome back, indeed!
    44 F?!! Really? No wonder your husband is all over you! ๐Ÿ™‚
    My summer was filled with pool days and late nights with the kid. All in all, not terribly interesting.
    Looking forward to more juicy posts and those pictures!

    Reply
  8. Bluestreak

    welcome back. since i added you to my reader iยดve just been starring at the unembolden blog title. P.s. congrats on the boob growth, send some of that boob karma my way so I can grow some tits.

    Reply
  9. MaryO

    I just want you to know that I was told to read this post because my buddy said that you remind her of me. I have read many of your past ones and am thinking that she may have a point.
    Let me give you a rundown:
    big boobs….check
    sacrasm….double check
    kids…. check
    annoying mom in-law…check
    hubbie…check

    I can truly think the only difference is that 1 I will leave the princess calling to you. 2 I am a Arkansas Hillbilly. I think we should never meet cause it might cause a overload of scarasm that the world may never recover from.
    I will keep reading your blog though. I have to have a place to go so I know I am not the only one with thoughts of happiness.

    Reply
  10. Lurker Girl

    Oh thank the heavens that you are back! I have missed you!

    My summer consisted of a couple of staycations (blogged)–as I am still of the “poor” since hubby has yet to get another job–damn economy. Glad to hear you survived Fay. I was in FL for Wilma–and I say screw that hurricane shit.

    Give me a tornado any time–it does it’s crap and moves on–it doesn’t stay for hours raining UP and blowing everything around–Pffft!

    Oh–and congrats on the birthday–MY FORTIETH IS FRIDAY the 20th–AAAHHHHHH!!! Screams in horror and leaves!

    Reply
  11. D-HOR

    Hey Welcome Back!!

    I can finaly stop clicking your link everyday and feeling like an ass for seeing the same thing over and over. You’d think I’d get the point but no, and look here! It paid off, you’re back!

    OMG I can’t wait to hear about the Esther Antics.

    Summer? I quit blogging for a bit too because I told my family that I’m moving to Mexico and I sort of needed to deal with them. And that whole MOVING thing.

    That’s that, WELCOME BACK!!!!

    Reply
  12. AmyD

    Glad to see you back. Since you seem so out there and open, I gotta know, tell me you are able to find cute, hot bras that big? Dish, please!

    Reply
  13. ablondeblogger

    Welcome back, girl!!! Of course I missed you! I’m so glad you’re back and that you SURVIVED the mess that is Esther. Poor you! Let me hold you while you shake from the memories (((((HUG))))))

    Ooooh, a baby naming contest!! I can’t have anymore of my own and have a ton of names still left to bestow, so I can’t wait (this is why I wish I wrote fiction so I could have characters to name, but alas, I suck at it).

    Good to have you back in the blogosphere, babe!

    Reply
  14. CP

    SOOPER – Glad to be back and nice to know I was missed!

    Diva – I will be back to yours as well.

    Blonde – I know what you mean about the names! I could name hundreds of kids, so long as I don’t have to take care of them too!

    Vodka – Nice to have you…and yes, for real.

    Geek – Are your manboobies really that big? God, no wonder TT loves you!

    Amy – Lane Bryant and Fredericks of Hollywood for the sexier stuff.

    christina – oh the stories that await you all!

    dhor – Mexico? Ole! Muy bueno!

    NYCWD – i’ll send you a photo via email! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    perpstu – thank you VERY much.

    Lurker – I hope things turn around for you…and Happy early Birthday! Forty isn’t too bad I assure you!

    summer – Congrats to your son! That is amazing news!

    mayro – Two snarky women…one princess and one hick. Scary combo indeed!

    Bluestreak – I will send some good tit vibes in your direction!

    Dutchy – I have been reading your blog…you have SO much to look forward to! Can’t wait to hear the details!

    winter – I think you might be right.

    Adam – Yup, keeping a sharp eye on the updates. Never fail to read you, love…even when I’m gone.

    Pissy doll – You KNOW there is drama when Esther is around!

    Sybil – Lazy days by the pool sound like heaven!

    Reply
  15. Big Mama

    Yay you’re back! You have been missed. You have always been one of my most favorite reads.

    My summer (for the most part) has been uneventful. Yes that is a great thing. My son got in a lot of trouble this summer and is now on probation (long story I didn’t even talk about on my blog). The family took a vacation to Panama without me. I guess you could say it was an all work and no play kind of summer.

    Did I tell you just how happy I am that you’re back?!?!

    Reply
  16. Pajamachick

    Oooh I got a shout out. Thanks. I am glad that you like it. I would have framed it or something but I didn’t know what you would like so, um, I didn’t.
    Wasn’t the package hideous? It made me laugh.
    I am glad that you are back. I also missed you.
    Pajamachick

    Reply
  17. Poppy

    Happy birthday! And congrats on surviving Esther and Fay.

    Congrats and good luck to your daughter.

    Congrats and *holding a can of body spray* to your son.

    Um… congrats on the boobs? I personally hate it when mine get bigger.

    Reply
  18. aoc gold

    The Blossom

    (1)

    Merry, merry sparrow!

    Under leaves so green,

    A happy blossom

    Sees you, swift as arrow,

    Seek your cradle narrow

    Near my bosom.

    (2)

    Pretty, pretty robin!

    Under leaves so green,

    A happy blossom

    Hears you sobbing, sobbing,

    Pretty, pretty, robin,

    Near my bosom.

    —–by maple story

    account

    Reply
  19. .:| Melissa |:.

    I’m a little late to the party! Eh. So what else is new? Been that way for the last few months! Ha!

    So good to see you back! Glad you made it through Fay! I didn’t know you lived down in Florida! Maybe had I known that little fact, AND had your email addy, I might have emailed you! *wink* And if you’re email is somewhere on your site, I don’t know about it! LOL

    Hubby hadd drive through that Fay shit. Twice,even! Once on the way down to Ocala, Tampa, Orlando. Then back home (Atlanta) again!

    He calls me, before he left on his way back: Babe, what’s the best route to take to miss the brunt. Me: Um. don’t matter. You’re gonna hit it on any route you take. It’s across the WHOLE fucking state, dude! Him: Yea, but I want to know if I should take 75, or cut over and go through Jacksonville. Me: I repeat. DON’T MATTER, IT’S ACROSS THE WHOLE FUCKING STATE!!

    He repeated this call 2 hours into his trip on the way back. *sigh*

    I repeated what I said before. Duh! LISTEN TO YOUR WIFE!! She knows of what she speaks of! Ten years!! You’d think he’d know by now! sheeeesh

    Mind you he drives a car carrier and was mostly worried about the winds. But, as I told him, it didn’t matter!

    Those 3-D sonograms are something else, aren’t they!! AWESOMENESS!! Hell, in my day, we only got the crappy ass sonograms ONLY if they were needed! GAH! Yea, and if you were on Medical (California version of Medicaid) they didn’t give you any pics to take home with you! Fucking cheap skates! I paid for that shit out of my taxes!!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CAPTCHA
Reload the CAPTCHA codeSpeak the CAPTCHA code