Today is Game Day!

I am an anomaly.

I am the girly girl who lives, breathes, eats and sleeps football. Love it. Now don’t get all freaked out that the Princess likes it rough. *ahem* You couldn’t catch me playing the game, ever. I will not break a nail or mess up my hair. I will scream very loud, hoot and holler over the game.

This year, the Giants are in the Superbowl. They are my team. I am not a half assed football fan who jumps on the bandwagon for whatever team makes it to the Bowl. The Giants have been my team since I was old enough to know what a touchdown was. I have been with these boys through thick and thin. No matter how their season went, I was always there, cheering them on.

Today I am having a Superbowl party. We have chips, beer a plenty, queso dip, large hero sandwiches, tons of soda, onion dip, veggie dip and, did I mention beer? I also have football decorated cupcakes lest there be something sweeter than the game itself. I have never hosted a party in my own home. I am very good at being a guest. I can drink other peoples liquor and eat their food. I am not good, however, at putting all these things out, making it all look fancy and put together. Frankly, I suck at it. Fortunately, I have a mini Martha Stewart in my daughter. She knows how to pull all this stuff together and make it work. Me? I am a first rate loser when it comes to entertaining. I am all like…

“Here’s the food, here’s a plate, knock yourself out.”

As a Jewish woman, I simply don’t have the hostess gene. Now, I can hire people to handle this shit for me. I can speed dial like no one’s business. It’s what Jewish women do. We order stuff. We supervise and tell people what to do. It’s what I am good at, my strong suit, if you will. To leave me to my own devices is to ensure that disaster will ensue. I an useless in the kitchen. I am definately a ‘bedroom’ kind of girl with an occasional dalliance in the living room. Sex I can do. Hosting? Not a clue.

I could never throw a bash like Avitable did for Halloween because I am just not that type of person. He obviously planned for weeks, maybe months about what he was going to do for his party. Me? I just bought some plastic bowls this morning and feel an overwhelming sense of accomplishment.

So, are you watching the game today? Are you having people over? Are you a hostess with the mostest? Can someone give me a clue?

6:46 UPDATE:
3-0 GIANTS. Fuck yeah!!!

7:01 UPDATE: Fucking Patriots. Dicks. 7-3.

7:41 UPDATE: I have no game update. I just want to say that I am on my third beer, switching over to a glass of wine, to be followed by a strawberry daquiri. Unlike my Giants, I am feeling no pain. My sandwiches were well received I have not run out of chips or beer. Frankly, I don’t give a fuck about my guests. They know where the kitchen is.

8:08 UPDATE: Half time show. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Feh. Not feelin’ it, y’all. It’s so 1980’s meets Top Gun and Tom Cruise. Do all these kids even know who Tom Petty is? More likely they know Richard Petty. TP is not a good looking man. I am hoping for no wardrobe malfunctions this year.

9:11 UPDATE: FUCK YEAH!!! GIANTS 10-7!!!!

9:39 UPDATE: *sighs* 14-10 New England. 2 minutes and 42 seconds left in the final quarter…not good.

NINE FIFTY-SEVEN UPDATE: 17-14 GIANTS WITH 35 SECONDS LEFT!!!! I think i AM about to shsit myhself!!!! I am so fucvcking happy!!!!!!!!!!

THE GIANTS WON THE SUPERBOWL!!! THE GIANTS HAVE JUST WON THE SUPERBOWL!! FREE BLOWJOBS FOR EVERYONE!!! GET IN LINE, BABIES!!! MAMA’S READY FOR A JIZZFEST!!!

FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!

10:56 UPDATE: Okay. I have to take back the blow jobs. The Hotband was not amused that I was giving away my golden mouth to the masses. So, instead…make it hand jobs. I use Purell so I am sanitized for your protection. However, the Hotband did mention that if I wanted to sex up the female bloggers, he is a big supporter of that.

29 thoughts on “Today is Game Day!

  1. ~Deb

    Oh Lord, last night I had my birthday bash, which I will be Youtubing that puppy… and I am so WIPED out from any parties at all…but I have to go to Madelene’s friend’s house – which is the person who tore me up last night.

    I am so done with this partying stuff. HELP!

    Hosting is great – but fricken tiring as all hell.

    I’m with ya!

    Reply
  2. CP

    Deb – Happy Birthday Baby!!!!

    Mahala – Whatever you do on game day, make sure it is better than the super bowl. For me? I can’t imagine a day without football. When the season ends, I cry.

    CP

    Reply
  3. saintseester

    Oh, CP, certainly you know that I am a football fan supreme. But since my team ain’t there, yet again, I will root for yours because Eli is a distant relative, I suppose.

    As for getting to watch the game. I have to. Have to. I was trapped in atlanta with a thousand screaming girlie girls at DANCE competition. Good lord. Anyone got some testosterone on them?

    Reply
  4. CP

    Saint – I knew I loved ya, babe!! Tell me you aren’t kidding. You are related to Eli??? Or, do you mean through the love of your team. Either way, I am so psyched for this game I am SHAKING!!!!

    CP

    Reply
  5. CP

    Okay…because I was totally set to worship you. Truly. I think I will photoblog this stuff tomorrow. I am proud of myself. People are actually eating.

    CP

    Reply
  6. Tense Teacher

    Rooting for the Giants at my house ’cause Eli is from Ole Miss — gotta stick up for my Mississippi boys! But no party here, not even any alcohol, dammit… Both the Littleone and I are recovering from the flu.

    Reply
  7. CP

    TT – HELL YEAH, BABY!!! I mean…feel better, because I love you and you come first…but when you are better??? HELL YEAH, BABY!!!!!

    CP

    Reply
  8. ~Deb

    Go GIANTS!

    And what’s that about sex? You know us Lebanese gals love to be promiscuous!

    Bring it! 😀

    If I told you it was my birthday, does that count? Birthday smacks?

    Hotband: Or should I just give up Madelene and be nice…that’s who she really wants.

    Pfffffffffffffffffft!

    *sulks*

    Reply
  9. J R Estelle

    I’m a Patriots fan but the Giants deserved EVERY BIT of that win. And after the display I saw by Belachek last night, walking off the field, I can say I’m truly disappointed.

    But…can I get in the hand job line?

    Reply
  10. CP

    JR – You can get in the line. First come first served…pun intended. It was a great game.

    Jali – Amazing game. I have been a Giants fan forever and this game will go down as a classic.

    Christina – It made you hold your breath, didn’t it? Very exciting.

    Gin – It was a real screamfest over here! Everyone went nuts!

    Geek – I’ll keep that in mind 😉

    Nick – It was incredible. One for the record books!

    KG – Thanks babe!

    CP

    Reply
  11. Turnbaby

    I can say that i am very thrilled to see my Kentucky boy Jared Lorenzen get a ring 😉

    And I am SOOOO with you on jonesing for football–I’ll even watch next week LOL and then start surfing to find European games *giggling*

    Reply
  12. CP

    TB – It’s the only reason I didn’t listen to your radio show…otherwise, you own me on Sunday nights!

    Can you watch pee wee football league…even if you don’t have a kid playing without looking like a stalker? No football. Oy.

    CP

    Reply
  13. VD

    I am a hardcore Pats fan. Through thick and thin, good times and bad, cheeating scandals, Bledsoe as quarterback(it’s killing me not to say something snarky about him but I’ll be nice).

    I’m really happy for the Giants and Tom Coughlin! They out played the Pats adn deserved to win that game. I have fond memories of Coughlin here at BC, so I was really happy for him.

    I will say this, I know Eli and the amzing job he did getting out of that tackle, but I don’t think he deserved the MVP. Um(please don’t ask me to spell his last name) I thought deserved it. He played a huge roll in keeping Brady from effectively, or at all for that matter, throwing the ball down field. I hope he’s getting some love in the NY press. I just went through the national stories on MSNBC, CNN etc looking for his name in an article so I could spell it properly and it was no where to be found. Where’s the love national media, where’s the love??? And oh, is he signed for next season???? How bout Tuck? We’re going to be looking for a few good men!!! 😉

    Reply

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