The hotband and I are enjoying a slow, lovely lovemaking session. It’s perfect, as always. He then decides to throw momma a treat for being such a good girl and waiting in his hotel room all day for him. Yay. Hotband travels “south of the border” while I kick back and wait for…yeah. That.
I am on my back, writhing around, truly relishing this moment. I am getting closer…closer. Here it is, baby, the money shot when all of a sudden:
“I HAVE TO THROW UP!”
“What? Wait, why?”
Naked hotband jumps up and runs across the room. He is gagging. He is ripping apart his laptop bag, searching for something.
“What the fuck are you DOING,” I ask incredulously.
“What is WRONG with you.”
“Heartburn,” he chokes. “I almost vomited.”
“You almost vomited while going down on me?”
“Yeah, but it had nothing to do with you.”
“Really, honey? Considering I am the last thing you ate…”
He pops another Rolaids into his mouth and chews on it, his eyes rolling backward in his skull like he just had a self induced orgasm.
“Mmmph,” he snorts, “Okay. I’m better now. Let’s go back to doing what we were doing.”
“Um, I don’t THINK so.”
“Because no girl ever wants to hear her husband saying he almost vomited while between her legs. It’s really not good for the ego, ya know?”
“Babe, it had nothing to do with you. It was the heartburn.”
I was thinking of sending this into Rolaids to be used as a commercial for their product. Rolaids…the acid goes down…so you can too!
Somehow, I dont think I’d get a corporate sponsor.